Productivity Approaching Zero

Did you ever notice that the less things you have to do, the harder it is to get them done?

As we are nearing the end of our home preparations, the task list is dwindling. Why, then, can't I just get it all finished?

Yesterday, I attempted to make a big stab at moving things along: pick up the internet kit from the cable company, a UPS package, make a couple of returns, do some grocery shopping, get some welding epoxy for the screen door, and then some laundry and hooking up the internet.

This seems like a reasonable list of things to do between, say, 5 and 10 pm.

However, it was not to be.

Before I could drive to even the first errand, I had to put a tire on my car: last week one of the tires was low, and the donut had to go on. On Sunday, when I was having a bunch of other car repairs done (when it rains...), I had the guy look at the tire. Both of us thought it looked fine. So, we filled it back up, and left it in the trunk to see if it would leak out. The good news is that it held air. But, that meant I had to put the regular tire back on...still in my work clothes, in 88 degree humidity.

Then, it was off to the cable company. All I had to do was pick up a CD with the installation program...after this visit, I would rather stand on one leg covered in honey waiting for fire ants to find me than go back. Apparently, EVERYTHING I had been told by the several previous customer service agents was, in reality, the exact opposite of the truth. 100% made up. So, I had to go 12 rounds with the poor guy in front of me, only to leave without internet access. (Side note: on calling back today, I was told that there is no reason I should've had any problem, and that somehow, miraculously, everything is all set now. In the last 12 hours, everything that was preventing me from getting online has resolved itself. An update later, after I get home and can check to see whether I can get online or not.)

Then, I had to scramble to UPS to pick up a package. Since our new building only has someone working at the desk from 10 AM - 1 PM every second Thursday of the month, there's no one to leave packages with. I called ahead, they said my package was waiting for me to embrace it and carry it home. I was so excited! I still get a rush getting mail. So you can understand why, after waiting an hour and fifteen minutes, I was a tad dismayed that my package was nowhere to be found.

I mean nowhere. They claimed it was "somewhere in the building," and perhaps it was in a locked area that they couldn't get to. Everyone was very nice, but I don't go to the package store so someone will be nice to me. I GO TO GET MY PACKAGES!

At this point, it was 9 pm, and I had gotten exactly nothing accomplished.

With a profound weariness and aches that ground my bones, I trudged to the grocery store, thinking that at least I could get something done.

Please, take my advise on this one: don't let the grocery store be the highlight of your day. You start thinking about how, if you can't get anything else done right, at least you can make a nice cheesecake. So, you end up buying all these ingredients to make a cheesecake, and now you're trying to figure out when you will have two hours that you know you'll be in the house to leave the oven on, and you realize that you have NO time to make freaking cheesecake! You can barely heat up a TV dinner when you get home. Just when do you expect to make cheesecake? From scratch?!

Also, shopping hungry, as we all know, is a terrible idea. You end up with fruit-bomb drinkable yogurt...and not just one or two, but a whole case of them. Because they were such a great deal: only thrice the price of regular yogurt.

And, tonight my class starts; it's nice to know that everything in my life is perfectly in order, so I can relax and focus on filling my mind with complex and esoteric theories about why the Chinese are good at business.