Senioritis

I did not think that my last semester of graduate school would be such a drag.

It's not that the classes are bad - in fact, they are quite interesting.

It's not that the work load is crushing - it is nothing out of the ordinary.

It could only be senioritis.

In high school and college, I thought that senioritis was collective in nature...everyone around you is antsy, anxious, and feels like they can goof off, so it becomes infectious. But now I am not surrounded by people who are finishing school with me. Most of my friends are not in school at all! And, I am working during the day anyway. So, clearly, I am manifesting this sudden frustration with school all on my own.

Now, I think that it has more to do with excitement about starting the next big thing in your life. Emotionally, I have been waiting for school to be finished so I could begin to think about other projects. Michael and I have been talking about all of the things we would do when we both finished school for more than four years. So, there has been a lot of anticipation building for my graduation for a long time. I have been waiting for it to come, and now, it is finally really approaching. I just want the day to arrive.

I am reminded of waiting for Christmas when I was a child. The days used to crawl so slowly because I was excited to get to the end and get the rewards! But, now Christmas comes so quickly I barely have time to get my head around the holidays before they are all over. So, maybe this is like the adult version of Christmas...

Also, I have changed a lot in the past three years since I started this degree program. My interests have broadened, and refocused, several times. I have more desire to build stronger communities on a small scale, instead of influencing world events on a large scale. So, while finishing this coursework is important, I think that some of the answers that I was looking for in the program are less interesting to me now.

So, I have grown and changed, and am ready for all of the things that are coming in the next few months and years. Finishing school is, at this point, something to check off my to-do list.