Election Day Woes...

First, the good news.

Up until 2006, my vote has been the kiss of death for any candidate. If I voted for you, you were going to lose. I had not voted for one single winning candidate, including for such posts as town clerk. Not once. And I have voted in every single election since 1996. Even absentee when I was out of the country!

Boy did I ever break that curse...Jim Webb won the senate race against George Allen in Virginia with just over 7,000 votes. To add to the sweetness, that race gave control of the Senate to the Democrats. Finally, not only did I feel like the world saw things my way, but I felt like my vote actually mattered.

This is no easy feat. One of the largest fallacies in politics is that 'your vote matters'. The number of elections where the vote is within even 1% of all ballots is teensy. To think that a single vote mattered is really to have delusions of grandeur.

Voting is actually an awful lot about social pressure. In fact, when people are allowed to vote online, smaller communities - where social pressure is higher - have seen a decrease in voter turnout!

So, I was really happy about that particular vote. Too bad that was overshadowed by the depressingly large margin that Virginia voters approved the anti-gay amendment on the ballot.

The fact that this law passed - when it was so obviously unnecesary, not to mention overreaching (look at how a similar law in Ohio has weakened domestic violence laws) is really the final straw for Michael and me. We have talked about how we would feel if this amendment passed, and now that it has, the choice is clear: we have to move.

At this point, it is simply a matter of conscience. I cannot live in a state that is so openly hostile, so mean-spirited, and so anti-family. Apart from this amendment not changing any definition of marriage, since gay marraige was already illegal in Virginia, it opens murky legal territory for our contracts, wills, powers of attorney, property rights, and all manner of other legal arrangements.

We could stay and fight...or hope that we are lucky enough never to get into a fight...maybe that would be the noble thing to do.

But, the truth is that when it comes to someone messing with the safety and security of my family, I really don't care what is noble. I care about protecting the people that I love. That means that if I have to sell my house, or get a new job, or even relocate, that's what I will do.

And right there is the most extreme example of the problems with our red state/blue state divide. Because Americans are so mobile, there is just no good reason to stay somewhere that you feel unwelcome.

So, Michael and I aren't exactly sure how we are going to get out of Virginia, but we will start by selling our house, and take it as it comes from there. Congratulations, Virginia. You win this battle. We will leave your state.

But remember, demographics are on our side.

Wedding Tips

The year of weddings is upon me.

For my grandparents, the summer and fall after high school was when everyone they knew got married. For my parents, it was the summer and fall after college. With the sociological creep in adolescence, I am finding that the 28th year is wedding crunch time for me. In October alone, I have three weddings to attend. And that doesn't count the weddings I just can't feasibly get to.

In that spirit, I wanted to offer some money-saving wedding tips that Michael and I employed to have a spirited affair that didn't break the bank. It should be said that the average wedding costs around $20,000 now, which is really obscene if you ask me.

And, it should also be said that there are far more exhaustive resources than my blog for wedding tips. But, the whole wedding industry - including the 'tips' industry - often loses sight of the marriage by placing too much emphasis on the wedding. Having just passed our one year anniversary, Michael and I are great examples of how the wedding ceremony is not the end, but instead, the beginning. Everyone involved in weddings would do well to remind themselves of that.

So, given that the wedding ceremony is a chance to celebrate your relationship, there are a number of things that you can do to reflect oyur own values and priorities as a couple that have the added benefit of saving money. Here are some tips that Michael and I used to keep the costs down, and the focus where it should be:

-We convinced a friend to create several playlists on her ipod in lieu of a DJ. This allowed us a lot more control over the playlists, which gave us a chance to incorporate many more songs that were important to us, our family and our friends. Also, we could avoid the dreaded chicken dance.

-Go somewhere that's hard to get to: only the people who mean the most to you will make the trek, and you can still invite lots of people (this doesn't mean Hawaii...try a 10-14 hour drive for most guests - the effort people make to join you will be all the more special.)

-Culinary and art schools have great leads on student caterers and photographers. Many times, the teacher will incorporate your wedding into a class project to give them hands-on experience. Make sure to ask for senior-year students. They will do everything for you - give you the digital negatives, do a full tasting, etc. Make it worth their while, though, and really talk them up.

-Buy your place settings at IKEA. Way cheaper than renting (by half, at least), and you can donate them to a shelter or nonprofit afterwards.

-Or better yet, give them away as favors.

-Speaking of favors, don't give them out. No one will walk away from the event feeling like they were robbed because they didn't get a mix CD of your favorite songs.

-Speaking of nonprofits, they are great places to scope out doing the ceremony and/or reception. Many historic homes, art museums, etc can be rented for private events quite reasonably, and really make a unique experience.

-Have a gay wedding: you can still invite people, but some of them won't come! Plus, you can really save a lot when you don't have to buy a girl's engagement ring or a dress.

The Six Month Update

Well, I am sorry for the hiatus. I have heard your comments, and I am happy to return to the blogosphere.

I should apologize for the long break. This summer has been, well, quite a bit more than I bargained for in terms of finding personal time. Or really, any time at all.

The biggest change that I have gone through this summer is the start of a new job, and the farewell to an old job. It was time for me to look for some new challenges in my career, and an exciting opportunity came up where I could expand my skills, travel, use my Spanish speaking, and have a shorter commute. The downside was that I would be moving to a smaller office - a total of four people, and one position is open right now! - and that I would not be in the city anymore.

My philosophy on career movement is that you want to make your moves like a flight of stairs: work in a small organization to gain experience, then make a lateral move in terms of job title, but into a larger organization so you can apply your knowledge and see how the larger organization does things in the level above you. Once you learn that, take a step forward in terms of job title, but move back to a small organization so you can do all the things that you saw your boss do. Repeat the cycle, and you will see that you are moving over, then up, then over, then up - just like a flight of stairs.

So, the size of the organization wasn't something that I worried too much about, because I was at a larger organization. And, while I would rather be in the city, I could get over that because of all the other positive things that I saw in making the change.

Of course, leaving all of my colleagues and friends has been dificult, but on my last day, I realized that I don't have to say goodbye to those relationships: I take them with me into my new experiences. And, it's not like those lines on my resume go away either. Instead, I get to add to them with new projects. So, overall, I am feeling quite positive about the move.

That said, it has been a disruption, like any job change would be.

On top of that, my brother came to stay with us over the summer to gain some professional internship experience before going into his last year of college. It was good to have him close by, and get to know him in a different way than I have before. It was also hard to share your space so intimately with a guest. We didn't realize how much we used our guest room/office! But, now that he's gone, I do miss having him around...

Also, my sister, brother-in-law and nephew just moved to the area for her training to become a foreign service officer. It really has been great having them around, but it's been an adjustment to find the time that I want to spend with them. Since they will only be here until November, I really feel the need to get our time in together.

And, Michael and I had various and sundry other guests visit over the course of the summer; I also took two summer classes in order to stay on track to finish school this coming May. While I am glad now that I did it, it was really a nightmare to have class four nights a week during the summer, especially with everything else going on.

So, now that the summer is coming to an end, and I go back for fall semester tonight for the first time, I am looking forward to a more focused, productive fall.

Thanks for your patience while I get my life together, and I'm looking forward to being in better touch.

Also, I am sort of giving up on the audioblogging for right now. I think it's a great formula, and I am looking forward to using it more, but I don't think this blog is quite the place for it.

Honeymoon in Vegas

Tax Time

I've Become One of 'Those People'.

My First Audio Post.

It Doesn't Matter if You're Just Going #1

This is an urgent posting. The situation has reached a fever pitch, and we must all band together to take a stand.

I cannot stand silently by any longer while our society crumbles. Of course, I am referring to men who don't wash their hands after using the urinal.

Is there some teflon coating that they have used on their hands that makes them impervious to germs? Are their bodies scrubbed so shiny and new that no bacteria exist? Of course not!

Just because you don't sit down doesn't mean that you don't get dirty. You're still reaching in and digging around down there and I, for one, don't want to be the first one to shake your hand after that.

Please, even if you know you are spotless and that the handles on the sink are dirtier than you are, just humor me on this one. When I'm not around, you can lick the bathroom walls for all I care, but when I'm in there with you, just suck it up and wash 'em.

Men, though, are convinced that they are the only ones who have the superhuman ability to repel germs. I have even had guys say to me, in all seriousness, that they will take their chances, because 'at least I know where my body parts have been.'

This may be true, but the rest of us don't know where you've been. And you have already proven that your standards of hygiene may leave something to be desired so forgive me for not trusting that you use hand sanitizer at your desk every 20 minutes.

Women, be forewarned, and men, be reminded: many men don't wash their hands if they're in the bathroom less than two minutes.