Honeymoon in Vegas

Tax Time

I've Become One of 'Those People'.

My First Audio Post.

It Doesn't Matter if You're Just Going #1

This is an urgent posting. The situation has reached a fever pitch, and we must all band together to take a stand.

I cannot stand silently by any longer while our society crumbles. Of course, I am referring to men who don't wash their hands after using the urinal.

Is there some teflon coating that they have used on their hands that makes them impervious to germs? Are their bodies scrubbed so shiny and new that no bacteria exist? Of course not!

Just because you don't sit down doesn't mean that you don't get dirty. You're still reaching in and digging around down there and I, for one, don't want to be the first one to shake your hand after that.

Please, even if you know you are spotless and that the handles on the sink are dirtier than you are, just humor me on this one. When I'm not around, you can lick the bathroom walls for all I care, but when I'm in there with you, just suck it up and wash 'em.

Men, though, are convinced that they are the only ones who have the superhuman ability to repel germs. I have even had guys say to me, in all seriousness, that they will take their chances, because 'at least I know where my body parts have been.'

This may be true, but the rest of us don't know where you've been. And you have already proven that your standards of hygiene may leave something to be desired so forgive me for not trusting that you use hand sanitizer at your desk every 20 minutes.

Women, be forewarned, and men, be reminded: many men don't wash their hands if they're in the bathroom less than two minutes.

Happy Holidays!

This year, in lieu of sending out Christmas cards, I have decided to post my annual year-in-recap udpate online. If you're an optimist, you will be glad I have felled fewer trees. If you are a pessimist, you will bemoan this day of instant-gratification, always-on fad-chasing as the flash in the pan it likely is.

I choose to be an optimist, and am using the environmental angle for all its worth.

Possibly, I am feeling optimistic because of some of the things that have happened to me in the past year. If you regularly follow this blog you will know that in February, I got engaged, and in September, I got married (I hear a number of cynical, non-romantic type people even cried).

I won't chronicle that whole process for you, but I will tell you that at just over three months after the wedding, we don't seem to have any less to do. I thought that after the wedding was behind me, I would be able to focus on all of the little things that I had been neglecting, like regular correspondence and organizing the spice collection. Alas!

Immediately on our return, Michael and I took hammers and crowbars to our kitchen to start our most ambitious renovation project yet. So big, in fact, that we could not possibly go it alone. We can do a lot, but offsetting the weight-bearing load of the ceiling to cut down half of a wall, and running new gas line across the entire house were a little beyond our abilities.

So, for the past two months, we have been fighting over the most insignificant of decisions as we remodel. If you have ever remodeled, you must remember how many different colors, finishes, metals, handles, tile, paint, heights, widths, angles, creative solutions, and mistake fixes you have had to decide.

I would recommend avoiding any renovations at least until the paper anniversary.

Undaunted by all this niggling, Michael and I have come through the process, and are now emerging on the other side with a bona fide hipster pad. Part urban contemporary, part antique, part ironic kitsch, part overserious adult, our apartment has finally become our home.

Completing this process has put the finishing touches on our transformation from boyfriends to a family. The English have a saying to describe something that is steadfast and secure: "safe as houses." I can understand why.

Now, if the rest of our building would just get the message! Our building was built in 1965, and converted in 1985. Some of the residents are the original owners from that conversion, and have officially moved into the old retired lady category. The board of directors was overwhelmingly in that category, and it was quite frustrating to try to get a straight answer about some basic questions, like "why is the community manager only here during limited business hours, when everyone is at work?" and, "why is there no visitor parking, despite having the space for it?" or, "why are there so many feral cats running around outside our building?" Actually, the third one did have an answer: because one of the board members was feeding them!

Michael expressed mild interest in possibly running for a spot on the board in passing, and it was a forest fire of excitement everywhere he turned! People were coming up to him in the hallway to tell him how he should run, and there needed to be some big changes around here. In November, Michael walked into the annual board meeting, and people started pointing to their friends, and declaring, "that's Michael!" Several people who didn't speak English well asked him to write his name on their ballots since they didn't know how to spell it.

Suffice it to say, Michael is now the Vice President of the Palazzo Condominium Association, and I have taken to refering to myself as Tipper Gore. I thought that was a little more tasteful than Lynn Cheney.

Now, we are frantically packing and preparing for our honeymoon: a week in Seoul and almost two weeks in Thailand. We will be seeing friends, beaching, clubbing, palacing, artisan-districting, and hopefully showing Michael a little bit about what working in Korea would be like by visiting a couple friends who are working there now. It's the trip we've been talking about taking since we first met, but there have been myriad reasons why it was never a good time. We decided, though, that if we didn't do it for our honeymoon, we might never do it. So, it's off we go, and a good thing too. I think, after visiting my mom and stepdad in their new home in Las Vegas, we might need a little time out de-Amerify.

The last year has been one of tremendous growth for me personally, and I am so grateful for the blessings of the past year. You, dear reader, are one of those blessings. Thank you for your friendship and I look forward to seeing you and hearing from you more often in the coming year.

My First Awkward-Marriage-Explanation-to-a-Customer-Service-Rep

I called the insurance company to add Michael's apartment to our insurance policy. This was the conversation:

Jamie: I need to add my husband's property to our existing insurance policy.
Insurance Agent: Are both names already on the account?
JB: Yes.
IA: And, who am I speaking with?
JB: This is Jamie.
IA: Let me pull up your account...OK, so you wanted to add your wife to the policy?
JB: No, my husband's property.
IA: I already have two people on the account.
JB: Yes, but there's one new property to add.
IA: So, you want to add your husband's property?
JB: Yes.
IA: Is this Michael's property?
JB: Yes.
IA: And who am I speaking with?
JB: Jamie.
IA: And, you want to add your wife to the policy?
JB: No, my husband is already on the policy.
IA: Are you a male?
JB: Yes.
IA: So, we're talking about two males?
JB: Yes.
IA:...OK, I can help you with that.

Well done! The whole process (after the initial confusion) was quite painless!

Sharing Our Story

Jonathan Rauch, whom I met at Brookings, and who has been writing about gay marriage for quite some time (check out his excellent book here) wrote a piece about Michael's and my wedding. It's posted here.

Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish features a quote from the article here.

I have believed for some time that by sharing your story, you actually make it more real. From the response Michael and I have gotten so far, that's definitely true in our case. The love and support on our wedding day, and a new outpouring of responses from this article just keep reinforcing to us that we are part of a community and family that will support us throughout our relationship.

It's truly edifying. Thank you.

Gay Wedding Wishes from President and First Lady Bush

Michael was excited to send an invitation to the President and First Lady to attend our wedding. He thought it would be helpful for them if they saw a loving, caring gay couple who had decided to bond their lives together, to care for each other, and to support each other to be their best, both for each other and for society.

Unfortunately, President and Mrs. Bush weren't able to join us for the occasion, but they did take the time to send a very thoughtful, considerate card. Below is a picture of it.

I think if they would've come to the wedding, they would have been warmly embraced by both of our families. They would've seen one of my dearest friends, Caryn, raise her glass to toast, "to Michael and Jamie, who's friends have always been my friends, and who's family has always been my family." It would've been hard for them to leave without having a great time dancing with my brother-in-law, and without tearing up a bit when I choked up saying my vows.

It would've been hard for them to be there and feel like they were watching something bad or wrong. There was too much love.

I wish they would've come, but we were glad to get their card in abstentia.

The First Wedding Photos - with Congratulations from President and First Lady Bush

Here are the pictures; the first is Michael and me, with the cake and some pictures from when we were younger - we both had Mickey Mouse school bags for our first day of school!

The second is the card we received from the President and First Lady. I'm sorry they missed a great party!

Here Come the Grooms...

Sorry I haven't posted in forever. The web is so relentless in its unending capacity to consume every idea I have in just a few short months, then leave my blog with no new postings for vast stretches of time, unveiling the sad sad truth that I really don't have that much to say.

However, this time I really do have a good excuse: I got married last weekend!

It was a whirlwind of activity, as all weddings are. But in the end, with the help of so many amazing friends and family members, everything turned out wonderfully.

And, any excuse to have a party is a good excuse!

We had the ceremony on the grounds of Jacob's Pillow Dance Festival, where we originally planned to have an outdoor ceremony. However, because of threatening weather, we moved the ceremony indoors, which ended up being so nice because it felt intimate, and everyone could hear. In the outdoor space, there was some danger of people being too spread out, and maybe not benig able to hear (plus, being blinded by the sun and all...).

The dinner was lovely, with food that was second to none. Several people said to me that it was one of the best wedding meals they've had. Thanks and huge kudos go to Adam Joseph, a good friend and amazing chef and caterer.

The Pillow really was the perfect place for a wedding, too, since it was so picturesque, and it is quiet after the end of the festival. If you're looking for a really unique location for a wedding or event, it's worth checking out.

We spent a couple of days in Vermont after the wedding, just decompressing, hiking, riding bikes, and eating huge two hour meals. It was a great time of year to be in Stowe - before the height of fall foliage, and away from the ski crowds.

All in all, a huge success. I'm still basking!

Breakfast of Champions

Some mornings, I have fun reading through Camper English's Hate Blog. It's often a nice way to start the day when you're feeling a little grumpy to begin with.

Camper and I seem like kindred spirits, albeit on opposite coasts. And Camper drinks more (a lot more) than me. Now that I think about it, Camper would probably get on well with my ex-boyfriend Ray, who is moving to San Francisco after changing his name to something much more cool sounding. Because Ray can drink all night, and somehow look fresh faced the next morning. But, I digress.


Camper wrote a book called Party Like A Rockstar Even When You're Poor as Dirt, which sounds right up my alley. He talks about how to do lots of stuff cheap, and now has a Rock Star blog that has even more tips, like how to make your own Gatorade (for real).

In that vein, I'll submit my own tip for the best way to avoid spending $3.50 for a breakfast sandwich. It's way easy.

Put down two pieces of toast.
Grease a regular bowl, then crack one egg in it, mix and microwave for 45 seconds (covered).
Slap a piece of cheese on top of the egg, and a piece of lunchmeat on that, microwave for 30 seconds.

The edges of the egg should slip right out onto the toasted bread, and you shouldn't even need to butter the bread. Cut in half and wrap in paper for a true deli breakfast experience.

This is Michael's recipe, that I've doctored up by putting bread on either side of it. Who knew you could nuke eggs so easily? Serve with coffee you brewed yourself, and save another couple of bucks.

School's out for the summer!

Yes, it's true, last week I finished my summer class; now, three whole weeks of vacation!

The only truly distasteful part of the final exam was the unfortunate fact that two people cheated on it.

I am disappointed in my classmates, and more than a little angry about it. Talk about the most basic issue of fairness!

To make it worse, cheating on this exam probably required more work than just taking it for real; what's the upside in cheating if you have to do *more* work than you otherwise would?!

The exam was a blue book essay exam; the professor gave a series of questions out to the class in advance, saying that some of them would be on the final, and others wouldn't. Of course, these two guys just wrote their blue books in advance with the material handed out in advance, then switched their blue books out from blank ones to completed ones when the exam began.

Not terribly difficult to do, unfortunately, especially because the professor left for ONE HOUR in the middle of the testing period to go back to his house and get the teacher evaluation forms, which he had forgotten. This made one cheater so brazen that he turned in his test in just 15 minutes. I thought it was odd at the time, and even thought to myself, "How could that guy finish so fast? He was never even in class*..." before hurrying back to my own work.

*This is actually true; he probably only made it to 75% of the lectures, and we only met once a week. When he was there, he zoned through the entire thing.

What's so ridiculous is that it must've taken these guys hours upon hours to research and write up the answers to the exam questions in advance. They probably rechecked their facts a couple of times, and did altogether too much work for a final like this.

I, on the other hand, spent all of 1 hour on a Saturday reviewing my notes with a couple of people, and walked in to the exam cold. Somehow I managed to do just fine on it; if the point of cheating is to avoid the work of learning the information, then they really lost out, because they easily spent twice the amount of time that I did on it.

Over drinks afterwards, some classmates and I got pretty riled up over the whole thing, and decided to report this back to the professor. Not because we're tattletales, or teachers pets, but because I don't want someone like that in my next class in this program, and I certainly don't want them getting the same degree as me.

I mean, let's face it: the coursework for my program just really isn't *that* hard...it's stimulating, sometimes challenging, but it's not overwhelmingly difficult. There's not even any math in the degree course (as if that could be the worst thing)!

So, one of my friends reported back to the teacher, who had his own suspicions on these two "perfect" tests, and was grateful to know for sure. He said he would, "give them low grades to reflect this."

Ex-squeeze me?!?

A low grade? (Which, he told us in the first week, was a B-!!!)

Boy, for all the talk of academic integrity, honor code, and the importance of citing sources that every teacher gives you at the beginning of their class (which is further underscored by the academic integrity oath that you have to SIGN when you enroll), I am just sick that these cheaters are still going to PASS THE CLASS!

I mean, they threaten to kick you out for cheating. I am serious! In my first semester, one professor said, "we had to make two people leave the program last semester for violation of academic integrity."

I guess an expulsion-worthy violation must be more like cheating on an exam by taking a completed exam, crossing out the existing name, and WRITING YOURS IN, or something equally dubious and idiotic.

Please Do Not Support Kolb Electric

This morning, while walking to the bus, the Kolb Electric van soaked me barreling through a gi-nornous puddle. Soaked, head to toe, on my left side, I trudged on. There was no time to go home and change. I almost caught up with said van, as it rushed through my puddle only to stop at a red light just ahead of me. Alas, the light turned before I could shake my fist angrily. I'm trying really hard to not let it get me down, but it would really help if you could promise me that you won't call them when you need an electrician.

No Such Thing as a Free Soda

Coca Cola, in a lame response to Pepsi giving away 100 million iTunes songs under their bottle caps, is giving away...more Coca Cola.

1 in 12 wins, they say.

1 in 12 doesn't sound nearly as exciting as 100 million. But, with a bit of market share, they really don't have to try quite as hard as Pepsi.

I, of course, am unswayed by the marketing ploy, and have continued to drink my solitary Diet Coke during each class period of my night class. Of course, I never win anything, despite having "played" at least 30 times.

However, I finally DID win this past Tuesday, and I was so excited I jumped up in class and exclaimed, "I won!" Right. in. the. middle. of. class. Oh, then I gave my friend a big hug, who looked at me bewilderedly.

I was excited to redeem my prize for my class last night. However, it was valid for a 1 liter bottle, and I would be damned if I was going to just get 20 oz. I stopped at 7 Eleven, and they only had 1 liter bottles of regular Coke and Sprite. So, I went with the regular and scooted off to class.

Not 20 minutes into the lecture, I had to excuse myself...bladder bursting, I hobbled from the classroom. The problem with a huge free soda is: I will drink every last drop. Even if it's not the kind of soda I like, even if it's not an approriate place, even if I wet myself.

Of course, I couldn't fall asleep after drinking that much sugar either. I tossed and turned for more than an hour after laying down.

Never again will I turn my back on Diet Coke.

Why's It So Hard?

I know I shouldn't be quoting Madonna this early in the morning, but sometimes the question begs asking: why do things have to be so difficult?

Previously: I was trying to get the home computer onto the cable internet, and was getting a different story from each person I talked to. The last person I spoke with said that I should be all set, and to try to get online.

---

It only took about 10 minutes to hook up all the cables and get the CD loaded to get onto the cable system's precious internet access. You don't realize how much you do online until, suddenly, you don't have internet access. To wit: I now find movie showtimes by keying the movie name into Google. Previously, I called the theater, or even bought a newspaper just to find out what movies were showing, and when. Now, it takes all of 0.39 seconds (according to Google).

So, I am choked off from obsessively checking my email. More importantly, my Amazon storefront is stagnating because I can't get any new items listed. Most importantly, the Amazon merchandise is starting to pile up in the house, and Michael is getting sick of it. Getting the internet hooked up is rapidly becoming a make-or-break issue in the new house.

Imagine my disappointment and frustration when I couldn't get online. But, a service rep warned me that I might need to call Tech Support to give them the serial number from my modem. So, I called, hoping to finally be done with the ordeal. Alas, the tech reported that they needed to send someone out to my house. Then, she promptly 'transferred' (read: disconnected) me.

I called back to talk to customer support. After a not-unbearable hold (weirdly, they don't play hold music, so I had to keep checking my phone to make sure I was still connected...I kept telling myself that my call was very important to them, and it would be answered in the order in which it was received. This sounds even more hollow when you say it to your self...aloud), I got Nicky on the phone. She asked if she could help me.

I said, "Boy, Nicky, I sure hope so. First off, I want you to know that you are the ninth person I have spoken to in the past three days, three people were supposed to have called me back, and none have, and I was just disconnected by someone in the tech department. So, I really hope that you are the Golden Ticket and will be able to help me with my situation."

After 45 minutes, Nicky was able to get everything sussed out. Several times she put me on hold for more than 5 minutes at a time, but she was so apologetic, and just wanted to "double check everything" to make sure I wouldn't run into any more problems.

Her solution includes someone coming over to my house tomorrow morning to make sure everything is working. That's Saturday. At 7 AM. 7 on Saturday. On the one hand, Saturday at 7 is hella early. On the other hand, I'm up anyway. On the other hand, it will cut into my tag saleing time (the best deals are always in the wee hours). On the other hand, it means that ostensibly someone from the cable company has to get up at some time before 7 in order to be at my house at 7.

Oh yeah, Nicky also threw scads of discounts, waived fees, and a free month of service at me.

All in all, I am satisfied with their service (at least until someone comes tomorrow at 7 and tells me that it's still not going to work), but ambivalent. Of course, I would rather not have to spend several hours fighting with various customer service people to get 1) a straight answer and 2) the deal they SENT ME IN THE MAIL. On the other hand, the bargain hunter in me is quite happy taking an hour or so to wheedle and come out saving a hundred bucks or so.

A bag of M&Ms (plain only) if you can guess the company...no M&Ms if you guess but you already know! Perhaps, though I could scrounge up some of those wax paper peanut butter Halloween chews.

Productivity Approaching Zero

Did you ever notice that the less things you have to do, the harder it is to get them done?

As we are nearing the end of our home preparations, the task list is dwindling. Why, then, can't I just get it all finished?

Yesterday, I attempted to make a big stab at moving things along: pick up the internet kit from the cable company, a UPS package, make a couple of returns, do some grocery shopping, get some welding epoxy for the screen door, and then some laundry and hooking up the internet.

This seems like a reasonable list of things to do between, say, 5 and 10 pm.

However, it was not to be.

Before I could drive to even the first errand, I had to put a tire on my car: last week one of the tires was low, and the donut had to go on. On Sunday, when I was having a bunch of other car repairs done (when it rains...), I had the guy look at the tire. Both of us thought it looked fine. So, we filled it back up, and left it in the trunk to see if it would leak out. The good news is that it held air. But, that meant I had to put the regular tire back on...still in my work clothes, in 88 degree humidity.

Then, it was off to the cable company. All I had to do was pick up a CD with the installation program...after this visit, I would rather stand on one leg covered in honey waiting for fire ants to find me than go back. Apparently, EVERYTHING I had been told by the several previous customer service agents was, in reality, the exact opposite of the truth. 100% made up. So, I had to go 12 rounds with the poor guy in front of me, only to leave without internet access. (Side note: on calling back today, I was told that there is no reason I should've had any problem, and that somehow, miraculously, everything is all set now. In the last 12 hours, everything that was preventing me from getting online has resolved itself. An update later, after I get home and can check to see whether I can get online or not.)

Then, I had to scramble to UPS to pick up a package. Since our new building only has someone working at the desk from 10 AM - 1 PM every second Thursday of the month, there's no one to leave packages with. I called ahead, they said my package was waiting for me to embrace it and carry it home. I was so excited! I still get a rush getting mail. So you can understand why, after waiting an hour and fifteen minutes, I was a tad dismayed that my package was nowhere to be found.

I mean nowhere. They claimed it was "somewhere in the building," and perhaps it was in a locked area that they couldn't get to. Everyone was very nice, but I don't go to the package store so someone will be nice to me. I GO TO GET MY PACKAGES!

At this point, it was 9 pm, and I had gotten exactly nothing accomplished.

With a profound weariness and aches that ground my bones, I trudged to the grocery store, thinking that at least I could get something done.

Please, take my advise on this one: don't let the grocery store be the highlight of your day. You start thinking about how, if you can't get anything else done right, at least you can make a nice cheesecake. So, you end up buying all these ingredients to make a cheesecake, and now you're trying to figure out when you will have two hours that you know you'll be in the house to leave the oven on, and you realize that you have NO time to make freaking cheesecake! You can barely heat up a TV dinner when you get home. Just when do you expect to make cheesecake? From scratch?!

Also, shopping hungry, as we all know, is a terrible idea. You end up with fruit-bomb drinkable yogurt...and not just one or two, but a whole case of them. Because they were such a great deal: only thrice the price of regular yogurt.

And, tonight my class starts; it's nice to know that everything in my life is perfectly in order, so I can relax and focus on filling my mind with complex and esoteric theories about why the Chinese are good at business.

Summer School Starts Tomorrow.

Just having spent most of yesterday basking in the sun, I am less-than-thrilled that summer classes start tomorrow.

Summer school is just a blight on humanity.

Time to get a-edumacated.

Wrinkles.

On Sunday, I found a wrinkle in my face and freaked out. I am too young to be getting wrinkles! I mean, this was a deep wrinkle that was quite obvious even from several feet away. I had a bit of a quarter-life crisis.

Several hours later, the wrinkle was gone. Turns out I just squished my face when I slept.

I used to try to scrunch my face to get a more weathered look so people would take me more seriously. Not anymore! The new moisturizing regime started last night!

I will be ready for wrinkles when I am 35. Does that seem reasonable?

Sorry for the hiatus.

Michael and I closed on our new apartment on Friday! It s a huge project (typical, no?), and that coupled with midterms, and now finals, has kept me away from the computer. Now, we're painting, then we'll be moving, painting some more, organizing, and getting the new house set up. We have BIG plans for the kitchen! If I can figure out how, I'll post some before, during, and after pictures.

In the meantime, entertain yourself with random musings from someone else's life by clicking on the "Next Blog" link at the top right of this page. Thanks for all your notes of concern about where I've been.